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I want to be Casper

As a lot of people know I’m participating in No-Shave-November.  For the past week or so I have looked at myself thinking, “Oh dear God, I look foolish and I don’t like the way I look I should really shave.”  I have not due to peer presure.  There are a few people I can name off the top of my head that are doing the month long experiment that are good friends of mine.  I have gone that week longer then I wanted to.

Today I was getting dressed and I had a problem picking out what I wanted to wear.  I don’t know why but that really got me down.  I ususally have a hard time figuring that out anyway  but this time i had to worry about my face too.  I feel like everytime I look at myself in the Mirror I look stupid.  I don’t look good and to me self appearence is half the battle right now.  Some people might not agree with that but that is what I think.

I stood in my closet for about 5 minutes thinking about what i should put on before I decided.  It ended up being a stretched out long sleeve brown shirt and jeans with brown shoes and my brown bomber jacket.  So I thought that Brown Man for some reason was the way to go.(Super Hero Anouncer)  “Brown Man!!!  Protector of all things nuetral and easy to not pull off.  Brown Man!!!  Why wear any other color when you can just use the same color multiple times in diferent articles oc clothing?!”

I looked at my self in the mirror once again and didn’t like what I was wearing but was late for class.  I stopped at the door of my apartment thought about it again and left because I was late.

As I’m walking I still have this thought in my head, “Uh hey Sid, you look stupid in a few ways right now.  One your face looks like you could rape someone.  Two what you are wearing is WAY to over bearing with the brown.  Last but not least I think you should tuck in the shirt but at the same time you tried that and you don’t want to look like a tool.  Wait, haha, you already do because of your face.  Idiot.”  That was on the way to my first class.

After that class I went to Russian and on the way to russian it was the same thing.  I just felt stupid.  I felt that my appearence wasn’t good so in turn I felt down.  I ran into Lisa and asked her advice.  She let me in on the half tuck move and made me feel a bit better.  There was still the issue of the face though.

So for most of the day today i have walked around not feeling good about myself.  Really at all.

I don’t like that.

Tears all over my keyboard

Here I am.  It is a Friday night.  I am siting outside the library.  I was going to go inside and read some comic books.  Starbucks was closed so I didn’t stay.  I would have liked to get a cup of coffee and read comics.  I used to do that all the time.  In high school i would go to the comic book store and then walk to Starbucks and read while having coffee.  I did that mostly for the feeling of kinda looking intellectual.  Lame I know but still fun.  I have 7 comics to read from the past few weeks.  I’m behind on my intake.  I was paying attention to Paper Towns by John Green.  I had to finish it before Sunday and I did.  It as a great book.  You all should read it.

This week has been an intense week.  We elected our first African American President.  The night of the election was a crazy night.  When Obama was annouced the winner Richmond went crazy.  I ended up in the middle of a group of 1000 or more people.  We were all happy with the news we heard.  First we were in Monroe Park, then we ended up moving the mass of people from the park to Broad St.  There the mass of people grew.  It was the coolest thing I’ve ever been apart of.  To see so many people happy about the same thing was great.  The cops tried to block us off but the herd of people just walked past the cars.  I was a part of that.  It was great to be a part of history like that.  It really was.  That was Tuesday night into wednesday morning. It was great.

This week I had two tests.  One in Physics and one in Russian.  The Russian test was today.  I feel like i did well.  Woot for that.  I’m not sure about physics though.

Alright.  Should I do something tonight?  I know I have that Nerdfighter gathering on Sunday.  That is really all I have for this weekend.  I have a tournement next weekend.  I have math home work in Math do on Monday.  I could do that.

My brother called me this afternoon.  He was hounding me about school.  He told me he would.  I don’t really know how to take it.  He also called to let me know that he wouldn’t be able to come down to visit before he headed to TX.  Kinda sucks but I can deal with it.

Alright.  I’m waiting here for something.  What is it?  I’m on the move to commons maybe.

(I hope I get a mssed conection for sitting here.)

That isn’t what I’m waiting for though.  I gotta read these books.  Go read Paper Towns.

Choco Tacos Late night

I’m beggining to not like Richmond.  There are certian things here that just annoy the hell out of me.  I think it is the constant sirens, the constant yeling of people on the streets and all the niose.  I really don’t like all the niose that comes from broad.  Over the past few weeks I feel like it has gotten worse too.  I can’t do anything without hearing sirens or traffic constantly.

I have stuff set up here though.  I have the Apartment, the bike, the radio show, the job, and all that jazz.  What i don’t have going for me is school.  I let myself slip way to much.  I let myself loose a battle that I didn’t want to loose.  So here I am, in fear of this semester being a waste save for one class.  That would be tap class.  The other three that I have are ones that require studying and turning in homework.  Really it is only two out of those three classes, Math and Russian.  Over this past week I have turned in all the homework for Russian and in math I took a test that i was not ready for in the slightest.  Yesterday i took a vocab quiz in Russian that i thought i did well on.  I did not do well.  I got more points then i would have if i had not studied, but i still failed the quiz.

There has been constant talk about tomorrow which is the last day to drop courses with out getting a refund for your money.  I’m not one to do that.  Also if I were to drop the classes that I am failing or would seem to fail for the semester, I would only have 1 class left.

Fuck.

I think I’m going to change wehre I post this blog.  I might move to blogspot.  A few friends of mine hae blogs there and I like the way it works more the here.

I went to carrytown yesterday to try and find some stuff for my costume and it was insanely busy.  So there wasn’t really a point for me to be there.  I didn’t find anything that i was looking for in that shop anyway.

I fell asleep on my couch last night fully clothed.  It was 7 in the morning when i woke up and went to my bed.  I don’t remember the last time i was up that early.  It didn’t look like i thought it would have.  It was not as light outside as I thought.  The sun was Just coming up.  It was very cold in my room.  I think that is one thing that i don’t like the most right now.  Freezing when i wake up and even when try got get out of bed.  There has to be a 20 deggree difference from bed to room.

Man.  Just, man.

A bird hit my moms window

I mean that is cool right?  It’s like this white circle on the window and there were feathers and stuff just skicking out everywhere.  I thought it was funny.

I was up last night until 6:30 in the morning.  My brother and sister were supposed to pick me up in Richmond at 3:30 but they got there around 4.  I stayed up the whole time until they got there.  They got there and saw my apartment.  It was cool having them come in and see my place.  It was not clean in the slightest.  We were going to sleep at my place but then we decided against that.  We drove to Vienna as the sun was coming up.

I was ridning around Richmond to keep myself awake.  Riding your bike late at night is relaxing.  I got lights for the front and back so now i feel safer.  I went to hang out with some of the frisbee team at “stonewall”.  That is the monument that the apartment is closest too so they named it that.  I was there at 3 eating cookies that Kelly(a girl on the team and the girl that lives there with 3 guys)made.  They were chocolate chip banana cookies.  Delicious.  Now i can’t find the other 9 i took so that i could eat them later.

I was hanging with Lisa before that for a little bit.  I was at her place until about 2.  That is when i realize that I can’t sleep there after I argue with her about it.  (I’m sorry about that.  As you said you are usually the patient one.  I have to be that person now.)

I’m in Vienna now though.  I’m here because my brother is in town.  I haven’t seen him in 6 months.  Then my tow sisters came into town so that means that all four of us are in town and that only happens twice a year.  My brother is going to FT. Bliss TX in less then two weeks.  After that he is going to go to the middle east to be with the army for a abit.  “A bit” is nine months. “The Middle East” is Iraq.  So I’m here because my mom wont have the chance to have all of us in the house for about a year or so.  I think.

I’m in the living room.  I am the only one that is awake out of the other three people in the room.  I was just charged with waking them up.  Ok then.  It is really shitty weather up here.

Mercury is the gass in Floresent bulbs

I’m taking notes with this blog title.  I’m not sure if that was important.  I wonder if anyone else blog while in class.  I got here a few minutes late.  I laid in bed for a while not wanting to get out because it was really cold in my room and it was warm in my bed.  Then I looked at the clock and was pissed at myself and got up and took a shower.  After the shower though I felt sick.  I don’t know why.  It was odd.

I want a different phone.   I think it’s because Lisa is gettting the Vu.  I’m jealous.  I know that i can’t get a ohone now because i just got the current one i have and I just started my plan with AT&T.  So i don’t think i’m going to be cool like Lisa and get a Vu.

A person just walked into class.  we have 7 minutes left.  Why come?  Why come if you are going to take out your phone and start texting people?  You can do that better outside where there is better service.  (Hypocit I suppose)

Time to end class.  Blag later?  Yes i think so.

I got a free Hookah

I’m here sitting in my room at my moms place.  I don’t really now what to say.  I mean.  I forgot some stuff like Lisa said I would.  I forgot my power cord, and a pillow #1.  so right now I”m on 41 minutes of power on my laptop and kinda pissed about it.  I went to dinner with my mom and step father and it was the same as it always is.  Kina awkward for me when Jim makes stupid jokes while I wait for my food and then eat it when it gets there while trying to make conversation so there isn’t that much silence.  That was the end of my day though.

I woke up in Richmond and hadn’t paked yet.  So i through everything in a duffle and then some homework in my backpack after taking a shower and was on my merry way to NOVA.  The car ride up was fine.  I got back here around 1 and walked in my house with no one here.  I walked into the kitchen first to see if there was any food i could have.  There were so left overs that I took and a glass of milk too.  I don’t think that I have liked left overs as much as i did this afternoon.  I went to my room to put my stuff down and my desk and chairs were gone.  They are all in richmond.  Then I called my mom to let her know i was here.  She was excited.

Then I was off to madison to see Mrs. Branson.  My freind Julian called it “Blake Buttlering”  and that holds the conotation that I can’t move on and that I have to visit all the people that I knew in Highschool so that i validate myself.  I don’t think I went back for that.  I went back to talk to my old english teacher about weather or not i was going to teach a bit  of her class tomorrow.  We ended up deciding against it.  I just talked with her for about 20 minutes until the school day ended then i had to go cause she had a meeting or something.  She was excited for me that i choose English as my major though.  There was a kid in her class that asked if i was going to go the dramma part of the school to say hi, I just looked at him and flat out said no.  I think i would exploed with the amount of annoy screams that i would have to endore.  Also there really isn’t anyone down there that i wanted to see. I wasn’t at Madison to see old students that I knew, i was there  to see an old teacher.

After Mrs. Branson though i went to go see my 11th grade and 10th grade english teachers.  They team teach now so it was like hitting two birds with one stone.  When I told them what i declared my self as they both kinda looked at me.  the 11th grade one asked “and what are you going to do with that Sid?” while smirking and knowing what it was i was going to say.  They thought it was great that i was thinking about being a teacher.  Both of them said that it was a great Idea.  I thoght that was cool.  you have to remember that I failed 11th grade english.  I never was the best studen on paper but the 10th grade teacher remarked at how easy English was for me.  “Poetic Justice” was the phrase they used to describe my choice.

I left Madison quickly avoiding the drama part of the building to go run errons.  I don’t know if you spell it like that, sorry.  I ended back at my house with my step father here and we talked for a while until my mom got home.  There you have it really.  Now my computer is about to die.  I really hope that i did bring my power cord.  I really really do.

P.S. Do you(the public that reads) think I’m lame for going back to my High School?

P.P.S.  I’m up for going to a show on Saturday.

U-Locks don’t like me

Here I am sitting in my Apt.  Tap Class started 6 minutes ago.  I was on my way to when I unlocked my bike from downstairs and and tried to re lock it so that i could be on my way.  For some reason though my U-Lock decided not to re lock when I was down there but waited until I was up here to work.  So in any case I’m full of being sick and I’m back in the apt. in dire need of a shower.  I feel yucky.

Last night I went to the Library where i spend a lot of time now.  I did some Russian and ended up leaving the Library around 11:30.  I walked around campus for a bit and then found myself walking up Franklin towards Boulevard.  I stopped before I got there and sat at Beth ah Haba to think.  I had a conversation with Nappi and tried to have one with God.  There I was at 12am talking to God.  I sat there for just over 2 hours.  My sister called me and told me to go home at 12:17 and I ended up walking back at 2:17.  It was interesting just sitting there for hours.  A lot of stuff goes passed you when you just sit and let the world go by.  There were a few people that tried to get a parking spot  a few times before the realized that they had it the first time.

I felt like Siddhartha though.  I was just sitting waiting, contemplating, and wanting stuff to happen.

Reading comics is a job

I’m here at work.  It is monday the 13 of October 2008.  I have been here for about and hour ad 15 minutes.  I think that I might die a bordum.  I get payed to sit here and do nothing really.  It’s a sweet deal.  I come in, sit at this desk and wait for someone to call or wait for someone to come to this door.  Then I push a button so that the door will open.  That isn’t the only job I have here though.

The second job I have here is the radio station.  I have been training a lot of people lately and it has really been getting to me.  I have been kinda pissed to come in here because o all these people, some of which wont show up to actually do their shows and/or format.    I have been doing the same thing for a while too.  I feel like a robot when it comes to training these new people.  Same thing over and over again.  I’m good at it now though with is interesting.  I guess with all the practice i have had I should be good at it.

Besides doing those two things i don’t have anything to do.  I use the time to do Home Work if i can focus and not just browse the internet.  After being online for a long time though there isn’t really anything to look at.  But ofcourse it is the internet so that isn’t a true staement.  “Suble Upon” is the newest freind to my bordum.  Woot. Woot.  If you like to have a program find things that you would like for you, this is that program.  Search “Stumble Upon” and google should have a link.  It’s cool.

It’s weird.  I’m looking forward to going back to NOVA.  Where did that kid go that was in highschool that couldn’t wait to get out.  I think it might clear my head on a few things.  Even though I don’t really need clearing.  I know what I want.  I think I’m most excited about seeing my mom. Getting that hug will be nice.

Robi Trip

After a night of some what productive studying I find myself talking with one of my old friends that I have known for about 5 to 6 years.  This person is Nappi.  He led me to read a post on his origal blog.  It was a good pick me up.

He is in the army now.  He is stationed at Fort Bliss TX.  The one thing you have to know about Fort Bliss is that it is not Blissfull in the least.  It is in the middle of the fucking desert.  With nothing to do except drink and shoot people with airsoft pellets.  Not unlike some college campuses I have been to and hated.

Now he is there becasue of many reasons.  He is not like other kids that you hear about who joined up.  He tried other things.  He tried to be a cook, a college student. a working class man, and then the army was the one that came next.  He went through basic, he went back home for about a month and then he was stationed at Fort Bliss.  There you have it.

Even when he is not in the right stae of mind he is trying to help me out.  I miss this guy.  I’m worried about him.  I look up to him about as much as i look up to my older brother.  I love him like a brother too.

I read another Blog post from awhile back.  Just made me want it that much more.